The Words of a Wise Man

Sometimes, in my life, I find that I am so consumed by work and school that I hardly have time to see what has passed me by: another 8 hour day at work, another 8 "likes" on that Instagram picture, 8 months since Mikey has been gone... Wait, what??!

Yeah, seriously. It has happened. 8 months in the bag, folks, and I couldn't be happier! Do any of you know what that means? You got it: 1/3 of the way DONE, and only 16 months to go!! Mikey has been doing SO good in Russia! He's so strong and wonderful, and is working through any and all trials he is faced with.

This last month he told me stories of angry drunks throwing beers at them, and flirtatious 15 year old girls who gained a crush on them after simply saying "hello" in the hallways a few times (I couldn't help but laugh at that last part.) But these boys are smart and know how to listen to the spirit.

A couple weeks ago, I had asked Mike to share with me his testimony. Honestly, there isn't any testimony I find more inspirational than that of a missionary. And then I got to hear (erm... read) MY missionary's words, and the inspiration to just continue supporting him only grew.

His words:

"I know this church is true. There is no denying that. I cannot deny that it is true. I don't care how many people bring to me their evidence, no matter how convincing it might be, I will never and can never deny that this is the true church of Christ. I know that there is always something somewhere to explain why this is the true church, why we do what we do, why it is set up this way. I know it is true, and that is where my judgement lies. I know and love this gospel. It has blessed my life so much, and it has only just begun. As I live from day to day I noticed that I've been noticing the hand of the Lord in my life more and more, especially when it comes to you, sweetheart. You are the greatest gift I have ever recieved, and I will never give you away. I know that through this gospel we can have an eternal family in the kingdom of our Father in heaven. I know that as long as we stick to this gospel, we along with our children will grow up in righteousness and never need to be afraid of the world and its onslaught. This gospel and you are the 2 things I am most thankful for. I thank God for you and His plan everyday. I love you both. I say these things in the name of our Savior, Jesus Christ, who atoned for us in the garden and on the cross, rose to overcome the bounds of death that one day we may be able to do the same, amen."

There you have it, my beloved audience (yes, that means you!) The words from a missionary. I do realize that you may want to just skip over the part where he gets sentimental for a moment and mentions how much he loves me. But when he said "...I know that through this gospel we can have an eternal family in the kingdom of our Father in heaven. I know that as long as we stick to this gospel, we along with our children will grow up in righteousness and never need to be afraid of the world and its onslaught..." I just realized how strong he was in this gospel. He not only wants to serve this mission, and do so righteously, but he wants to carry it on to future generations. He wants to continue to teach and grow.

This gospel is true. The love of our Savior is true. Life is great. 

And you're amazing. 

Eternally yours,

||Kortney||

Eight months down,
Sixteen to go!

Corny missionary girlfriend picture.
And, yes. I posted this on the internet.

Logan, Utah Temple

Sudden Realization: The Woman Who Lived

I am well aware that this may come off as a random (hopefully not morbid) post. But, bear with me, as I've come to a realization.

I had gotten off work early today, and had to stay in town for a few hours for school, so I decided to go for a drive. And as I did, I came across a cemetery. It kind of drew me in, which is really strange, considering I've always been the type to be "freaked out" by cemeteries. Anyways, I ended up driving around for a while. Just looking up and down the many rows if headstones that were there, noticing some from as far back as the early 1800's. These stones were covered in dirt, turning green from moss, some even slowly beginning to crumble away around their edges, and they were all absolutely beautiful. I don't know why I was so surprised to find that I felt peace when I got out and walked around. There were plots for the elderly, passing away at advanced ages, some holding the remains of young men and women around my age, and the most heartbreaking stones (to me) standing in place of young children, some passing away after only a few days on this earth.

Bayview Cemetery
Bellingham, Washington

I've always loved history, and learning about the past, but I never thought I'd be the kind to go to a cemetery to find what my true  fear was. I've never been scared of dying. That's just a part of this life. It happens, sometimes far sooner than anyone could imagine. Very heartbreaking, yes. Is it a scary thought? Of course. But my fear? My fear is being forgotten after I'm gone. How am I going to be remembered? Am I simply going to be a soul that moves on from this earth, with only a stone in my place? 

No. Quite frankly, I refuse. I don't want to be the type of person who goes about this life without leaving some sort of impression. Will I change the lives of people all over the world? Highly doubtful. Will I win many awards and go down in Hollywood history? Who am I trying to kid. Will I leave my family and friends with more than just a stone? Absolutely. I may not be able to leave them millions of dollars, or mansions on the beach. But I can leave them with stories. I can leave my thoughts. I can leave my passions. I can leave them with smiles and laughter.

"There's no point in consistently worrying about everything. What will happen will happen regardless. So breathe, look on the bright side, have some laughs, fall in love, accept what you can't change, and carry on. To actually live is courageous. 

Most people only exist, that is all."

I know one day, I'll be lucky enough to marry and be sealed to this man of mine in the temple, and that we will have children. And I know that when we are sealed as a family, that means we are sealed for eternity. I want them to know that when I pass, I was just going home. I was going home to meet my Savior. I was going to feel the warm embrace of my Heavenly Father. I was going away from this earth, but only to help prepare our forever home.

I want to leave them with knowledge of the history of my life, and not just worldly knowledge. Is math or science important? To a degree, yes. Is it going to lead them to a career? Quite possibly. But I have found that history has been my greatest learning portal. And not just from a history book. I'm talking family history, genealogy; I'm talking pictures, and handwritten journals; stories to tell of my silly moments, and moments when I felt like I couldn't go any further. I would want my family to know of my beliefs. I want my life to be meaningful. I want my life to leave some sort of motivation, some sort of hope and excitement. Some sort of life lesson. I want them to know that I waited for my husband, and felt so much struggle for two years while he served a mission. I want them to know that I went to school, and I worked my butt off to do so. I want them to know that they will struggle, and they will fall, and that's okay! It's okay to stumble. It's okay to mourn. It's okay to fall, as long as you don't stay there. 

"We don't own our family history. We simply preserve it for the next generation."

I want to be remembered as a happy woman who found love and joy in every day that she lived, even if sometimes it was a struggle to find something to smile about. I want to be the woman who smiled in the moments of heartache, focusing on the beauty of life, not the downfalls and hardships. I want to be able to take a step back and smile at the life I lived. I want to make my Father in Heaven proud. I want to make my parents on this earth proud. I want to make my husband and children proud. I want my family, generations from now, to be fascinated by the history I've left behind.

I want to go down in history as the woman who not only existed, but lived.

So, again. I apologize if this may sound depressing or is something that most don't like to talk about. But I just want you to understand, I'm just beginning to write my history.

And I am still learning about my family's past! And it's so intriguing. I know, for a fact, that I will teach my children of the importance of family history. I haven't always done my best at learning more, but I get into it every now and then with my mom, and learning about little things that my family members have accomplished, or trials that they have gone through has proven that it is so possible to overcome an unbelievable amount of struggle.

Keep calm and live on ladies and gents. 

Eternally yours,

{|K|}

"She was the light of our home."
Bayview Cemetery
Bellingham, Washington
*This was one of my favorite headstones. You could tell that Felix loved his wife.
That quote at the bottom says it all.*

"If we know where we came from, we may better know where to go.
If we know who we came from, we may better understand who we are."
Bayview Cemetery
Bellingham, Washington

"Yet, am I not for pity-- tremling have I come face to face with God."
--Ella Higginson, Poet Writer
Bayview Cemetery
Bellingham, Washington

Семь месяцев вниз!

Sometimes, with life being so crazy and moving so fast, it's hard to believe that my very best friend has been away from home for a whole seven months! It's amazing how fast time seems to just fly! It's such an amazing blessing, being on this adventure. It definitely feels like a roller coaster ride, one of those ones that seems like you have to wait in line for forever before you can step foot in the cart, and once you do, it only slows down a few times. And with each up hill battle, it speeds up with a quick down hill ride. Who can complain? I'm not going to. So far, this is my favorite roller coaster ride EVER!

FINALLY!! Seven months down!

This last month has been pretty exciting! Elder McCallum has had the opportunity to perform his first baptism in the field, and give a confirmation in Russian! I think he felt a little nervous about the confirmation part, but he pulled through. The Lord definitely had his hand in on that. I know he did. He helped calm any fears of that righteous missionary.

Also, we made it to 200 days done and gone! I try not to bring it up to Mike unless he brings it up, too, so usually I'm over here fan-girling over this super cute missionary who's making so many proud over there. I feel as though I can pretty much guarantee that I get eye rolls from all my posts and pictures and comments. I just ask you to bear with me- it's still such a huge change!

Not sure what's going on here, but I'm not planning on questioning. 

Also, I officially started that new job, so it's been hectic over here, too. I had to go to a weeks worth of training out of town and had to stay in a hotel by myself, and was feeling SO anxious!! So, who did I have join me along for the ride? Well, Mr. Mike the bear, of course. Laugh away. I know I did. ;) 

While I was down for training, I had the chance to stop by the temple for a few minutes. Major comfort. It's so amazing how just walking around the grounds of the temple can bring peace. I can't wait to be married in our temple!!

My lucky bear in the hotel room with me.
Weird?
I don't see why you would ever think that.

Seattle, Washington LDS temple

As for all you lovely, lovely girls waiting for a missionary- keep your beautiful chin up! This will be something amazing to look back on once it's all said and done. I'm well aware there are many more girls out there who have been waiting for a longer amount of time, but I'm sure they would all give similar advice. And always, always remember about their family waiting back at home, too. You're not the only one who is waiting. The Lord comes first, then his family, and then you. You are loved and your support is appreciated, but right now, you are not, and should not be the center of his attention.

I find myself decorating envelopes in my free time.
No I don't have a problem.

Also, he makes my heart swell. Russian is such a fun language to hear, but I sure as heck don't know what's being said. Mike recently sent me these words in Russian and translated them for me. I kinda sorta wanted to be sure it was accurate, so I translated it on Google. He was spot on. I should have known. ;)

Words in Russian from Elder McCallum.
(Awww!)

I may or may not be kind of obsessed with this guy.

And, as always, eternally yours,

{|K|}